Roblox won't install on my Hackintosh. Don't ask why I want Roblox...

So basically, I mounted Roblox's DMG, asked to double click on the icon to install. It loads the Roblox updater and then says something along the lines of "Roblox could not update" and then closes. No matter what I try, no matter what God I pray too, no matter what satanic ritual I commit, I can't get god-damn Roblox running on my Sierra hackintosh. F U C K I N G R O B L O X .

Help is appreciated.